One of the lads... never the girl

the last two days have brought with them an epiphany. it seems i spent my entire high school years befriending the male species with the intentions to prevent the female species from making my life a hell hole. and now that i am all grown up and not a believer in cooties, guys just don't seem to see me as more than a friend {well all but the sleaze bags in the streets}.
I'm okay looking...people don't crunch up their faces or run at the sight of me. i mean I'd like to have a guy i like tell me I'm pretty rather than constantly be told I'm one of the lads.
my epiphany came yesterday when i was talking to my cousin. who made it quite clear that she wanted me to finally get a boyfriend this year. but after eighteen years of male related failures, i don't think i will ever ever get one. so that can guarantees two disappointments this year.

some people seem to find my lack of relationship experience shocking! considering i spent most of my time around guys, what they don't know is that when they see me with those guys, I'm discussing the following: football, rugby, their girlfriends and or how to get a girlfriend {me not considered}
yes it's a sad story,and one i constantly avoid discussing until now... X *FS

*FUTURE SPINSTER

Religous...me?

you know despite my gangly brothers opinions i am a nice person. today i performed another selfless act_ i went to church. i know most people don't see going to church as an act of kindness but in my case it is.
to begin with it's depressing, i find myself feeling pity for the woman sitting next to me singing dutifully, shouting AMEN and crying for no real reason. the entire time i am in church i am either trying to keep my eyes open or to stop admiring someones outfit.
i have nothing against Cristian's and church goers, i just don't see why i should promise my entire life to serve someone else, when there are so many stupid and reckless things i want to do... whether i will do them or not is not the point. the only reason i endure the guilt trip that is going to church is my mother. she doesn't know that rather than follow an actual religion or Christianity to be more exact... i have chosen to declare belief in A god so that just in case i die and i don't come back as a rock star and instead go to the after life... whoever the big man is cant say i had no faith and can happily accept me in.
i have had many a debate about this subject and lost a friend over my choice of belief { which isn't very Cristian of her}. and i have learnt a way to get my point through with out necessarily hurting some ones feelings.... "if you don't like it, fuck of and tell someone who cares" yep works every time. the sight of seeing such and adorable face like mine saying something so crude renders people speechless, though i don't know why.
now if only i could use my skills on mummy x *COC
*CUTE ODD AND CRUDE

cartoons and jailbirds

This morning i was looking after my sisters kid and he was watching... cartoon network. and it came to my attentions, as most things do when i am in desperate need for an escape pod, that the cartoons were on the violent side.
now most people would be whatever about it. but me... have a brain that's on drugs, and as the small persons punched the air around him and screamed swamp fire! i saw him all grown up and being dragged into a dingy jail cell after beating a man to death,
in my youth the most violent cartoon i ever saw was samurai jack... and that was not by choice. cartoons of my days, excluding dragoon ballz, were less violent and more unrealistic. sponge bob was a happy yellow chap who drove a car and fried patty's under water. i watched talking pigs and frogs not people being beaten to a bloody pulp by a ten year old boy.
all I'm saying if your kid ends up looking like sponge bob 2.0 blame Ben ten and all the other crap you have to suffer through x *PAB

* PEOPLE AGAINST BREEDING

Fresh start

i am startin this blogging business all over again. hopefully this time i will be able to stick with it.
now this year i am starting higher education, unlike most fools i've learnt life is not an amirican college movie. chances are i waont be clubbing or drinking {that stuff taste like my idea of piss} or leading any type of social life. in fact i've decide considering how rare it is my expectations are met... i will expect nothing. if you expect nothing everything will become a surprise.
but considering in the back of my mind i am seeing a crazy gay bestfriend i may have to deal with dissapiontment. though one thing i wont be dissapionted about is... not finding a striaght guy at a design school... if it proves to be true i hope i survive x zoey101

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